Actually, me is not what I want to talk about. Religion, and ideology, is what I want to talk about. I never used to think about religion all that much before I came here. Maybe because back home religion is not so much in-your-face as it is here. Back there when religion shows up it's in a sort of an apologetic "excuse me, may I" sort of way. Not that there are no religious people or that the church has no policy or agenda (though it has more politics than policy right now from what I hear). It's just not... relevant, I think.
I have seen myself thinking of and discussing religion here a lot more than I am interested; though, mostly because it appears to be an issue and, yes, many people think, a policy maker, in this country. I have also been forced to define myself as an atheist although all I am is an a-religious person. The concept of a god was never an issue for me due to its complete absurdity.
But the concept of religion appears to be an issue. Mostly, I have had the following (oversimplified here) discussion with Josh:
Josh: "Religion is obsolete, we have outgrown it. It is not needed anymore as we know what lightnings and thunders are. So we should erase it."
Banana: "No, religion is not obsolete as there are so many people that need a support system, rules, and order in their lives."
Josh: "Alright (or awright), I do not mind spirituallity. It is organized faith or religion I object. Religion is the cause of so much evil, look at history."
Banana: "But it is men that start the evil, they come up with the ideas. Obviously, religion is created by men, and it is a tool. Men say: fight in the name of (insert a deity here), not some obscure voice from above."
With which he agrees because, obviously, it is a stone in my garden - no religion, no reason to fight. But then, I grew up in a non-religious country and there was a reason to fight. Milions of reasons at that: the mighty proletariat.
I can see what Josh's beef with all this is, though, it's the fighting Christian, the fundie. It is religion as a policy-maker, religion that wants to influence the legislature. It is the fact that they are trying to impose their beliefs and morals on everyone else by turning them into laws. But my point still stands, it is men, using religious influence, that are trying to promote their own beliefs. It's like with guns, it is not guns that kill people but people using guns to kill other people.
So, where are we at? What happens if we decide to eradicate religion? When communists did it, sort of, their thinking was that religion as a tool for control was merely competing with ideology, another tool. Well, they managed in a half-assed sort of way, to neutalize it. I am a-religious, as is my family. But then I have friends that are somewhat religious (nothing like folks here, mind you), and then others that believe in a vague sort of way that "there is some power". I've never known what that means so I chalk it off to superstition (there's no god, but I won't say it out loud because what if there is?!). All in all, not a very religous bunch. The result: when one system fell apart and there was nothing there to replace it (and we are not talking only economic systems here because communism was ubiquitous in people's lives), entropy ensues. Go figure!
I guess the point I am trying to make, albeit in a clumsy and rambling fashion, is that people do need a structure. For everything. Think about it. People need to follow diets and stricts exercise regiments to lose weight (whatever happened to balanced eating and not sitting on your fat ass in front of the TV/computer/whatever all day long). People need systems to study and achieve certain levels in their education or professional qualifications. People need rules and order and that's why we live in an organized society. Why is it so hard to understand that in regard to their spritual lives, people need a structure and guidelines?
What I am saying is that, granted people need some sort of structure, eradicating religion would leave them clueless and they'd be looking for something else. The reason religion is such a perfect strusture is because it appeals to everyone, unlike ideologies that appeal to certain classes. For instance communism was appealing to the empty stomachs of the workers and the sense of justice of the itellectuals. Once your stomach is full or you get older and understand your skills would be forever unrecognised in an "everyone's the same" society, you quickly become disenfranchised with communism. Religion though appeals to the spiritual needs of everyone, basically it appeals to the fear of the unknown, the fear of death. And that's where it starts building up. It's perfect.
I don't know what else to say. It's more or less: we cannot eradicate it because people need it. It is not evil but it is used for evil purposes (good as well, actually). It is men that are evil (or good). Things are not black and white because if they are white for me, they most certainly will be black for someone else. There are underlying factors for everything and pointing a finger at religion as a cause for anything is just refusing to take off our blinds. While writing this, I read another blog (edit: I eventually linked to the article; it might not be good to link to a personal blog without asking for permission, huh?) and that largely seemed to be the point of the article pasted there. Look at the cause not at the effect. Now, look deeper. Now think. Now take responsibility.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Melancholy Blues
3 hrs/9 miles...*
This gives an approximate idea of the walk my charming companion and I took today. Around the Back Bay, over to the Eastern Prom trail, down Commercial and Danford St to the Western Prom, behind MMC to the baseball field and then onto Deering Ave...
Today was totally one of the days that gives everyone a reason to love early spring. While I lack the vocabulary to describe it, it was one of those days with spotless blue skies, water of the deepest blue, warm breeze, and people, people, people everywhere, with kids and dogs, smiling and nodding at each other. Needless to say my buddy made a bunch of new friends and on the Eastern Prom Beach even managed to scare a specimen three times his size. Proudly, he walked away to stumble upon a husky, which I am afraid might have brought some not so happy memories in his little head because he carefully avoided any confrontation. We walked on to the rocks and picked up a couple of stones I intend to use for buttons on my Wookiee bag. We saw the Narrow Gauge train with its three passengers which was sort of lame.
Portland is truly an odd concoction of urban and... provincial, I guess. While the downtown district feels like a big city, with the shops and restaurants, coffee houses, business buildings, sirens, and tourists, it also has these quiet neighbourhoods (like the one we live in) that make you think of mid-class suburban hell and ALF. And then it has the gorgeous residences of the Western Prom, overlooking the crappiness of Saint John St. If you choose to go down from the Western Prom park, behind MMC, it is literally a plunge in that crappiness, you walk down a hundred meters and it's like you're in a different country. And in a way you are. This is not the old commie in me speaking, just an observation.
Most of the time I was listening to my iPod although sometimes it's better not to.
The White Stripes' Jolene breaks my heart. I don't feel like myself, haven't felt for a while now. All the forces factoring in my life right now, the fact that I have no power over those forces, that knocked me off my feet. And it's not the forces influencing everyone such as the economy, the gas prices, politics and so on. But forces that have direct influence over my life, my happiness and the future of my family. The fact that there's nothing I can do about it, that it's all in some faceless bureaucrat's hands, that kills me. I now that as long as it depends on me, I can focus and invest a sizable effort into achieving certain goals. But when it doesn't depend on me even the tiniest little bit, what do I do? Wait?
Wait.
It was a good day overall and while there are many things and people I miss right now, I would have been completely happy if one of them had spent today with me. Today's not over yet, though. So, I'll take a hot shower, wrap myself in a blanket to read for a bit a book of short stories written by our landlord, and wait.
* I also went to the store, so add at least one more mile to that.
This gives an approximate idea of the walk my charming companion and I took today. Around the Back Bay, over to the Eastern Prom trail, down Commercial and Danford St to the Western Prom, behind MMC to the baseball field and then onto Deering Ave...
Today was totally one of the days that gives everyone a reason to love early spring. While I lack the vocabulary to describe it, it was one of those days with spotless blue skies, water of the deepest blue, warm breeze, and people, people, people everywhere, with kids and dogs, smiling and nodding at each other. Needless to say my buddy made a bunch of new friends and on the Eastern Prom Beach even managed to scare a specimen three times his size. Proudly, he walked away to stumble upon a husky, which I am afraid might have brought some not so happy memories in his little head because he carefully avoided any confrontation. We walked on to the rocks and picked up a couple of stones I intend to use for buttons on my Wookiee bag. We saw the Narrow Gauge train with its three passengers which was sort of lame.
Portland is truly an odd concoction of urban and... provincial, I guess. While the downtown district feels like a big city, with the shops and restaurants, coffee houses, business buildings, sirens, and tourists, it also has these quiet neighbourhoods (like the one we live in) that make you think of mid-class suburban hell and ALF. And then it has the gorgeous residences of the Western Prom, overlooking the crappiness of Saint John St. If you choose to go down from the Western Prom park, behind MMC, it is literally a plunge in that crappiness, you walk down a hundred meters and it's like you're in a different country. And in a way you are. This is not the old commie in me speaking, just an observation.
Most of the time I was listening to my iPod although sometimes it's better not to.
The White Stripes' Jolene breaks my heart. I don't feel like myself, haven't felt for a while now. All the forces factoring in my life right now, the fact that I have no power over those forces, that knocked me off my feet. And it's not the forces influencing everyone such as the economy, the gas prices, politics and so on. But forces that have direct influence over my life, my happiness and the future of my family. The fact that there's nothing I can do about it, that it's all in some faceless bureaucrat's hands, that kills me. I now that as long as it depends on me, I can focus and invest a sizable effort into achieving certain goals. But when it doesn't depend on me even the tiniest little bit, what do I do? Wait?
Wait.
It was a good day overall and while there are many things and people I miss right now, I would have been completely happy if one of them had spent today with me. Today's not over yet, though. So, I'll take a hot shower, wrap myself in a blanket to read for a bit a book of short stories written by our landlord, and wait.
* I also went to the store, so add at least one more mile to that.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Crash into me
I treated my right ear with a bunch of electroshocks for about a half hour. It appears dear kitty has caused irreversible damages to the cable of my earplugs which was why my ear feels a bit toasted. Like my Mac but ear still works.
Visiting the new and awesome Whole Foods store turned out to be a depressing experience. To begin with, one of the first things that caught my eye when I got there was a very pretty sweater (at a whole foods store, yes, go figure). The price quickly cooled me down - something in the $100 range. Was it organically grown cotton or antibiotic and hormone-clean sheep wool, I don't know.
Second, as adviced, I went to the food court section and what's offered is nothing but the mall food court experience with a "wholesome" label. The prices seem pretty reasonable and it's oh, so good for you!... but it's still a freaking food court, packed with Dave Matthews Band fans. Blah.
I walked around, actually bought some yummi herb salami and some other shit. And then I went to the bread section. I like my bread good and have located a couple of bakeries, one of them right down the street, that I like to shop from. Amazingly enough, they carried that bakery's bread at the hippie store, so I checked out the price and I am pretty sure I actually moaned out loud. It was $2 (two bucks) or 50% (fifty percent) more than at the bakery. For a $4 bread, I'd say that's just too much.
So, I left that section and moved quickly towards the check-in. Walking out I started thinking of how that store would hit the local businesses like Micuchi (the hippies have a good selection of salami's, cheeses, and wine, as well as an ethnic food section that covers Italian), that bakery I mentioned, and so on... and I realized there would be no hit. Because, wholesome or not, hip(pie) or not, that store still offers convenience shopping experience. Places like Micuchi, and One Fifty Ate, that bakery - Big Sky Bread, the coffee shops and diners do carry the community spirit, the cosiness and almost intimacy that seems to be so characteristic of Portland. I know it's the good old Ginormous Corp. against the local shop play again but Portland seems to be prooving there's a market for both (I don't know if there's market for Wild Oats anymore though).
I could have sweetened the experience with some gelato but I figured I'll do it at some other time and location because: 1. I hate Dave Matthews Band fans and that yuppie/hippie crowd with uncharacteristic passion. 2. I know where they make and deliver that gelato from and it happens to be pretty close to where I live, a nice local coffee shop. 3. I am hoping to drag Josh along because I bet it's gooooooood.
I don't like myspace anymore. There's too much featured shit on my home page, from artist, book, and filmmaker to Madonna-designed dress. It is sickening in a way.
Visiting the new and awesome Whole Foods store turned out to be a depressing experience. To begin with, one of the first things that caught my eye when I got there was a very pretty sweater (at a whole foods store, yes, go figure). The price quickly cooled me down - something in the $100 range. Was it organically grown cotton or antibiotic and hormone-clean sheep wool, I don't know.
Second, as adviced, I went to the food court section and what's offered is nothing but the mall food court experience with a "wholesome" label. The prices seem pretty reasonable and it's oh, so good for you!... but it's still a freaking food court, packed with Dave Matthews Band fans. Blah.
I walked around, actually bought some yummi herb salami and some other shit. And then I went to the bread section. I like my bread good and have located a couple of bakeries, one of them right down the street, that I like to shop from. Amazingly enough, they carried that bakery's bread at the hippie store, so I checked out the price and I am pretty sure I actually moaned out loud. It was $2 (two bucks) or 50% (fifty percent) more than at the bakery. For a $4 bread, I'd say that's just too much.
So, I left that section and moved quickly towards the check-in. Walking out I started thinking of how that store would hit the local businesses like Micuchi (the hippies have a good selection of salami's, cheeses, and wine, as well as an ethnic food section that covers Italian), that bakery I mentioned, and so on... and I realized there would be no hit. Because, wholesome or not, hip(pie) or not, that store still offers convenience shopping experience. Places like Micuchi, and One Fifty Ate, that bakery - Big Sky Bread, the coffee shops and diners do carry the community spirit, the cosiness and almost intimacy that seems to be so characteristic of Portland. I know it's the good old Ginormous Corp. against the local shop play again but Portland seems to be prooving there's a market for both (I don't know if there's market for Wild Oats anymore though).
I could have sweetened the experience with some gelato but I figured I'll do it at some other time and location because: 1. I hate Dave Matthews Band fans and that yuppie/hippie crowd with uncharacteristic passion. 2. I know where they make and deliver that gelato from and it happens to be pretty close to where I live, a nice local coffee shop. 3. I am hoping to drag Josh along because I bet it's gooooooood.
I don't like myspace anymore. There's too much featured shit on my home page, from artist, book, and filmmaker to Madonna-designed dress. It is sickening in a way.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Dead horse
Don't explain to me why it wouldn't work…
Ugh, I used to hear something of the sort from my father all the time. Every time he would give me an advice and I would try to tell him of all thousand and one reasons I thought it couldn't work for. That was his response after which I'd usually storm out of the room and… do exactly what he told me.
I am very much a worry-er. I cannot sleep when thinking of the problems in my life. I have panic attacks. I mumble to myself (in an odd concoction of Bulgarian and English). I sigh and walk around in circles.
But, I am very much my father's daughter, and I am very much a warrior. After panicking and all that jazz, I sit down and find out how to deal with the problem. And move on.
Story time (Problems vs. Solutions)
Problem
When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn't work at zero gravity (ink won't flow down to the writing surface).
Solution A
In order to solve this problem, it took them one decade and $12 million. They developed a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, underwater, in practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to over 300 degrees
Solution B
And what did Russians do?? The Russians used a Pencil!!! *
I've heard the story before from my dear husband but reading it like this (with the nice little conclusion on that site, namely: think simple, focus on the solution, not the problem) struck me with its clarity. I am a firm believer in acting and bringing in good in our lives instead of sitting around and waiting for the bad to happen. And then happen again. And again… it piles up like bad credit.
I have stumbled upon the basic concept that "life sucks" or better put by some '90s poet "I hate myself and I want to die" (heh)... the concept that bad comes naturally in life. But that somehow doesn't ring true in my ears. Only randomness is natural. Things happen, good and bad. But we're also given the opportunity, by birth, to influence our lives, more or less. Not that we're all that powerful, not that we could fight randomness (navigate it… just a thought)… Just most of the problems we're dealing with are not that bad. We focus so much on them, we sort of succumb into them and forget to look for the solution.
I am also not saying that solutions are always simple or easy, no… But I don't recall being promised a simple and easy life at any point. It's just life. It is a battle. It could be sweet, it could be bitter. But way better then nothing.
I am done.
* On a side note: yes, Americans won the Cold War, and yes, that happened because communism is crippling to any country, even one rich with resources of all kinds as Russia. Americans had more money, Americans won. But, maybe the deficiency of money helped the Russians come up with such a simple solution; they had nothing to invest in the research of the kind Americans conducted).
Ugh, I used to hear something of the sort from my father all the time. Every time he would give me an advice and I would try to tell him of all thousand and one reasons I thought it couldn't work for. That was his response after which I'd usually storm out of the room and… do exactly what he told me.
I am very much a worry-er. I cannot sleep when thinking of the problems in my life. I have panic attacks. I mumble to myself (in an odd concoction of Bulgarian and English). I sigh and walk around in circles.
But, I am very much my father's daughter, and I am very much a warrior. After panicking and all that jazz, I sit down and find out how to deal with the problem. And move on.
Story time (Problems vs. Solutions)
Problem
When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn't work at zero gravity (ink won't flow down to the writing surface).
Solution A
In order to solve this problem, it took them one decade and $12 million. They developed a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, underwater, in practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to over 300 degrees
Solution B
And what did Russians do?? The Russians used a Pencil!!! *
I've heard the story before from my dear husband but reading it like this (with the nice little conclusion on that site, namely: think simple, focus on the solution, not the problem) struck me with its clarity. I am a firm believer in acting and bringing in good in our lives instead of sitting around and waiting for the bad to happen. And then happen again. And again… it piles up like bad credit.
I have stumbled upon the basic concept that "life sucks" or better put by some '90s poet "I hate myself and I want to die" (heh)... the concept that bad comes naturally in life. But that somehow doesn't ring true in my ears. Only randomness is natural. Things happen, good and bad. But we're also given the opportunity, by birth, to influence our lives, more or less. Not that we're all that powerful, not that we could fight randomness (navigate it… just a thought)… Just most of the problems we're dealing with are not that bad. We focus so much on them, we sort of succumb into them and forget to look for the solution.
I am also not saying that solutions are always simple or easy, no… But I don't recall being promised a simple and easy life at any point. It's just life. It is a battle. It could be sweet, it could be bitter. But way better then nothing.
I am done.
* On a side note: yes, Americans won the Cold War, and yes, that happened because communism is crippling to any country, even one rich with resources of all kinds as Russia. Americans had more money, Americans won. But, maybe the deficiency of money helped the Russians come up with such a simple solution; they had nothing to invest in the research of the kind Americans conducted).
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Seven Seas of Rhye
It'll be 2 months soon since we got married. It's still a novelty, it's still exciting, it's still surprising. I never used to think of marriage. I mean, not that I have ever been actively against marriage as an institution, I just never used to think of it. In any sort of relationship, I never cast my thought beyond what was happening at the moment. I never as a little girl dreamt of a wedding day with all the… fuss… I don't really know what's going down on a normal wedding day as I have been present at only one wedding and I only remember it was a pretty good party.
So back in the day, when things were good, we joked with the idea from time to time (of me being finally made an honest woman), but the fact of the matter was, we were together, we loved each other, if I dared look forward and dream, we'd have been together forever. But marriage, it's too much of a bother to just have the very day of wedding. And we were lazy. And it was too soon. So… that was that.
Some broken dreams, tears, thinking, more tears (all me, whiny and weepy), built-again dreams, and a six-pack of Black Fly Stout (we didn't drink it ourselves, mind you) later I became... I was made an honest woman. And… and it's like nothing I have ever imagined before.
People say you don't need to validate love by signing a piece of paper, it's just a legal procedure… Yeah… But boy, do I feel different! It's really hard to explain but it seems like there's been a tiny little romantic buried deep in me that lifted her head and started speaking at that "I do" moment. Started feeling, too. My love for my husband has not grown less intense, less passionate, or more mature, at least not yet. But the feeling that I am not alone anymore, that I belong to an entity different than my own person, bigger and better than it, that's new. The feeling that there's someone that's more dear to my heart than I myself am, that's new. The desire and will to take care of someone else and their comfort and peace of mind, and be taken care of back, that's new.
Yes, I have a family back home, and I love and respect them immensely. But that family is my roots, it's where I start. My new family, my husband and I, that's the future.
So, yeah, things change after marriage. Or at least they changed for me. But I love it. Also, we have the best wedding story ever.
So back in the day, when things were good, we joked with the idea from time to time (of me being finally made an honest woman), but the fact of the matter was, we were together, we loved each other, if I dared look forward and dream, we'd have been together forever. But marriage, it's too much of a bother to just have the very day of wedding. And we were lazy. And it was too soon. So… that was that.
Some broken dreams, tears, thinking, more tears (all me, whiny and weepy), built-again dreams, and a six-pack of Black Fly Stout (we didn't drink it ourselves, mind you) later I became... I was made an honest woman. And… and it's like nothing I have ever imagined before.
People say you don't need to validate love by signing a piece of paper, it's just a legal procedure… Yeah… But boy, do I feel different! It's really hard to explain but it seems like there's been a tiny little romantic buried deep in me that lifted her head and started speaking at that "I do" moment. Started feeling, too. My love for my husband has not grown less intense, less passionate, or more mature, at least not yet. But the feeling that I am not alone anymore, that I belong to an entity different than my own person, bigger and better than it, that's new. The feeling that there's someone that's more dear to my heart than I myself am, that's new. The desire and will to take care of someone else and their comfort and peace of mind, and be taken care of back, that's new.
Yes, I have a family back home, and I love and respect them immensely. But that family is my roots, it's where I start. My new family, my husband and I, that's the future.
So, yeah, things change after marriage. Or at least they changed for me. But I love it. Also, we have the best wedding story ever.
Monday, November 27, 2006
We… we belong together*
My home country, here. Some random facts off the top (or bottom) of my head**. Bulgaria:
-Was founded as a state in 681 by a barbaric tribe coming from the Caucasus region (roughly) on the territory of a Byzantine province populated by some Slavic tribes. Eventually, the Bolgars were engulfed by the Slavs leaving a gene of atrocity and bloodthirstiness, which made for good soldiers and... uhh... chess players? I don't know... The Slavs on the other hand left behind beauty and cowardice... which made for nothing.
-Became Christian in 864 and balanced between Catholicism and Eastern Orthodox Christianity for quite a while; some limited groups accepted Islam between 14th and 19th century; 20th century communism largely wiped out all religions. All in all, religion has always been a matter of politics and survival and that's all I have to say of it.
-Had it's army fully destroyed by the Boulgaroktonos who captured and blinded 15,000 men leaving one one-eyed per every one hundred to lead the way back home. Sweet times, those Middle Ages. There was a vengeance though, due to the Romaioktonos who... oh well, killed a lot of Greeks. Obviously.
-Spent about five centuries in slavery, according to our books, and as a province, according to Turkish historians, of the Ottoman Empire. Fun times documented in countless historical records, fiction works, folklore songs, tales, and legends. Modern day historians are a tiny little bit suspicious of the credibility of the afore mentioned sources. Eh. History is also a matter of politics.
-Has always been better in war than in politics and diplomacy. For example, was an ally of Germany in WWII.
-Went through 45 years of communism. Which was and wasn't as scary, miserable and despicable as reflected in James Bond books/movies and whatever other sources of information people around here had. All I remember is that I had an awesome childhood marked by almost complete freedom from any restrictions and fears†. My parents – not so much. The reason it sucked was that communism practically reversed everything that is natural to people as well as what Western civilization has established as rules and laws of democracy. Namely, in communism people were said to have been created the same, in terms of abilities, talents and intelligence, but in front of the law… well, some were more equal than others (go read your Orwell if you don't get this one).
-NO, WAS NOT A PART OF THE SOVIET UNION. Assholes.
-Is to become part of EU. Blah. Politics.
-Since the fall of communism has seen the encounter of a Wild West lawlessness with the free market of Adam Smith with bureaucracy of a very non-Weberian type (as if it exists anyway). We saw the rise of Christian democrats (HA!), the shameless revival of the socialists, and the birth of grass-roots neo-fascism mixed with the obscenity of populism.
-Has a large gypsy population. And none of them looks like Brad Pitt. No. They look like Borat's fellow villagers.
-Was the place where my family, while having their morning coffee, watched a man getting shot, across the street from the building they live in. Also, my father was recently given a laptop for repair with a bullet in the monitor. He was ecstatic.
-Has a bacterium named after it.
For the rest, why, check CIA's factbook.
* It's mostly song titles that come to my mind when I think of the blog title. I don't know, cannot think of anything original. But it makes sense in my head...
**Really random. Incomplete. Irrelevant.
† But for Ronald Reagan
-Was founded as a state in 681 by a barbaric tribe coming from the Caucasus region (roughly) on the territory of a Byzantine province populated by some Slavic tribes. Eventually, the Bolgars were engulfed by the Slavs leaving a gene of atrocity and bloodthirstiness, which made for good soldiers and... uhh... chess players? I don't know... The Slavs on the other hand left behind beauty and cowardice... which made for nothing.
-Became Christian in 864 and balanced between Catholicism and Eastern Orthodox Christianity for quite a while; some limited groups accepted Islam between 14th and 19th century; 20th century communism largely wiped out all religions. All in all, religion has always been a matter of politics and survival and that's all I have to say of it.
-Had it's army fully destroyed by the Boulgaroktonos who captured and blinded 15,000 men leaving one one-eyed per every one hundred to lead the way back home. Sweet times, those Middle Ages. There was a vengeance though, due to the Romaioktonos who... oh well, killed a lot of Greeks. Obviously.
-Spent about five centuries in slavery, according to our books, and as a province, according to Turkish historians, of the Ottoman Empire. Fun times documented in countless historical records, fiction works, folklore songs, tales, and legends. Modern day historians are a tiny little bit suspicious of the credibility of the afore mentioned sources. Eh. History is also a matter of politics.
-Has always been better in war than in politics and diplomacy. For example, was an ally of Germany in WWII.
-Went through 45 years of communism. Which was and wasn't as scary, miserable and despicable as reflected in James Bond books/movies and whatever other sources of information people around here had. All I remember is that I had an awesome childhood marked by almost complete freedom from any restrictions and fears†. My parents – not so much. The reason it sucked was that communism practically reversed everything that is natural to people as well as what Western civilization has established as rules and laws of democracy. Namely, in communism people were said to have been created the same, in terms of abilities, talents and intelligence, but in front of the law… well, some were more equal than others (go read your Orwell if you don't get this one).
-NO, WAS NOT A PART OF THE SOVIET UNION. Assholes.
-Is to become part of EU. Blah. Politics.
-Since the fall of communism has seen the encounter of a Wild West lawlessness with the free market of Adam Smith with bureaucracy of a very non-Weberian type (as if it exists anyway). We saw the rise of Christian democrats (HA!), the shameless revival of the socialists, and the birth of grass-roots neo-fascism mixed with the obscenity of populism.
-Has a large gypsy population. And none of them looks like Brad Pitt. No. They look like Borat's fellow villagers.
-Was the place where my family, while having their morning coffee, watched a man getting shot, across the street from the building they live in. Also, my father was recently given a laptop for repair with a bullet in the monitor. He was ecstatic.
-Has a bacterium named after it.
For the rest, why, check CIA's factbook.
* It's mostly song titles that come to my mind when I think of the blog title. I don't know, cannot think of anything original. But it makes sense in my head...
**Really random. Incomplete. Irrelevant.
† But for Ronald Reagan
Saturday, November 11, 2006
You'll stumble in my footsteps
Empathy. I have put empathy to be the only descriptive info in the "about me" section. Empathy being: the ability to walk in someone else's shoes. The other short piece of info accessible to the public (no matter of the public's lack of interest thereof) on this page is about my interests. It states me, followed by some elaboration to strengthen the point.
These are pretty much the issues that have been bothering me lately: the extent to which people are focused on themselves and their courage to venture into others' minds, motivations and feelings. The balance of taking care of your own well-being in the most intuitive way and the apprehension of the fact that your relationships are largely built upon your ability to understand and appreciate others' drives and experiences.
Empathy has been widely appreciated in management; simply put, you cannot manage people successfully without being able to see the world through their (collective) eyes (forget Henry Ford, he managed operations, not people). Empathy is not enough, but it is the foundation of dealing with people.
Empathy has been widely unappreciated in personal life. In personal life, it's about me. A you (he, she, they...) might come across BUT only as it relates to me. The way I see it, empathy in personal life and relationships might blow your mind. It would lead to a conflict of interests, choosing between your natural instinct to take care of yourself and the appreciation of another person's... uhmmm... existence is the word I'm looking for. Existence in your world.
I can go many ways from here, to the parent-child relationship, to friendship, to siblings' relationships, to intimate relationships. To symbiosis. Originally though, I wanted to talk about something much more generic, empathy towards fellow humans. I am not sure if I am not now entering the realm of Utopia; I am pretty sure though that being at least fair and respectful is an option in our attitudes towards other people. I know very well people are cognitive creatures building attitudes based on experiences. But, but, but! You can go two ways. You can either choose the high way of stereotyping (yep, it has been talked about and agreed upon the superiority of the approach), or my way - of at least sometimes trying to be respectful, open-minded, and fair. Just in general, towards people. You know, respectful as opposed to judgmental? Although being judgmental is so much fun, huh?
Once I had a conversation with a man that had spent years in self-torture (not physical, no) after a painful relationship-thingie experience. We were discussing something fairly mundane when he told me: "In most situations it doesn't matter what you do but how you do it. If you do it in a respectful way, even if people do not approve of your actions, you'll be able to keep a healthy relationship." Or make a graceful exit. After that discussion I've been constantly analyzing how my words and attitude might cause harm or pain. Or mild discomfort. In other words, I am trying to look at the results of my actions beyond my own being. I am trying to get this empathy thing going and since we judge about other people through our own reactions, I am trying to be compassionate of others' feelings. Sort of. Maybe. Still learning.
Or, you know what? Maybe I am going the wrong way. Maybe I am just ultra-super-sensitive about every stupid little thing that people say or do. Maybe other people don't care about such things, they don't get hurt by words. Maybe empathy is only a tool and sympathy - a waste of your emotional resources. Maybe apathy, stereotyping, judgmentalism (?????) ARE the way to go.
Unless it's your ass that gets kicked. Hurts.
These are pretty much the issues that have been bothering me lately: the extent to which people are focused on themselves and their courage to venture into others' minds, motivations and feelings. The balance of taking care of your own well-being in the most intuitive way and the apprehension of the fact that your relationships are largely built upon your ability to understand and appreciate others' drives and experiences.
Empathy has been widely appreciated in management; simply put, you cannot manage people successfully without being able to see the world through their (collective) eyes (forget Henry Ford, he managed operations, not people). Empathy is not enough, but it is the foundation of dealing with people.
Empathy has been widely unappreciated in personal life. In personal life, it's about me. A you (he, she, they...) might come across BUT only as it relates to me. The way I see it, empathy in personal life and relationships might blow your mind. It would lead to a conflict of interests, choosing between your natural instinct to take care of yourself and the appreciation of another person's... uhmmm... existence is the word I'm looking for. Existence in your world.
I can go many ways from here, to the parent-child relationship, to friendship, to siblings' relationships, to intimate relationships. To symbiosis. Originally though, I wanted to talk about something much more generic, empathy towards fellow humans. I am not sure if I am not now entering the realm of Utopia; I am pretty sure though that being at least fair and respectful is an option in our attitudes towards other people. I know very well people are cognitive creatures building attitudes based on experiences. But, but, but! You can go two ways. You can either choose the high way of stereotyping (yep, it has been talked about and agreed upon the superiority of the approach), or my way - of at least sometimes trying to be respectful, open-minded, and fair. Just in general, towards people. You know, respectful as opposed to judgmental? Although being judgmental is so much fun, huh?
Once I had a conversation with a man that had spent years in self-torture (not physical, no) after a painful relationship-thingie experience. We were discussing something fairly mundane when he told me: "In most situations it doesn't matter what you do but how you do it. If you do it in a respectful way, even if people do not approve of your actions, you'll be able to keep a healthy relationship." Or make a graceful exit. After that discussion I've been constantly analyzing how my words and attitude might cause harm or pain. Or mild discomfort. In other words, I am trying to look at the results of my actions beyond my own being. I am trying to get this empathy thing going and since we judge about other people through our own reactions, I am trying to be compassionate of others' feelings. Sort of. Maybe. Still learning.
Or, you know what? Maybe I am going the wrong way. Maybe I am just ultra-super-sensitive about every stupid little thing that people say or do. Maybe other people don't care about such things, they don't get hurt by words. Maybe empathy is only a tool and sympathy - a waste of your emotional resources. Maybe apathy, stereotyping, judgmentalism (?????) ARE the way to go.
Unless it's your ass that gets kicked. Hurts.
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