We… we belong together*

My home country, here. Some random facts off the top (or bottom) of my head**. Bulgaria:

-Was founded as a state in 681 by a barbaric tribe coming from the Caucasus region (roughly) on the territory of a Byzantine province populated by some Slavic tribes. Eventually, the Bolgars were engulfed by the Slavs leaving a gene of atrocity and bloodthirstiness, which made for good soldiers and... uhh... chess players? I don't know... The Slavs on the other hand left behind beauty and cowardice... which made for nothing.

-Became Christian in 864 and balanced between Catholicism and Eastern Orthodox Christianity for quite a while; some limited groups accepted Islam between 14th and 19th century; 20th century communism largely wiped out all religions. All in all, religion has always been a matter of politics and survival and that's all I have to say of it.

-Had it's army fully destroyed by the Boulgaroktonos who captured and blinded 15,000 men leaving one one-eyed per every one hundred to lead the way back home. Sweet times, those Middle Ages. There was a vengeance though, due to the Romaioktonos who... oh well, killed a lot of Greeks. Obviously.

-Spent about five centuries in slavery, according to our books, and as a province, according to Turkish historians, of the Ottoman Empire. Fun times documented in countless historical records, fiction works, folklore songs, tales, and legends. Modern day historians are a tiny little bit suspicious of the credibility of the afore mentioned sources. Eh. History is also a matter of politics.

-Has always been better in war than in politics and diplomacy. For example, was an ally of Germany in WWII.

-Went through 45 years of communism. Which was and wasn't as scary, miserable and despicable as reflected in James Bond books/movies and whatever other sources of information people around here had. All I remember is that I had an awesome childhood marked by almost complete freedom from any restrictions and fears†. My parents – not so much. The reason it sucked was that communism practically reversed everything that is natural to people as well as what Western civilization has established as rules and laws of democracy. Namely, in communism people were said to have been created the same, in terms of abilities, talents and intelligence, but in front of the law… well, some were more equal than others (go read your Orwell if you don't get this one).

-NO, WAS NOT A PART OF THE SOVIET UNION. Assholes.

-Is to become part of EU. Blah. Politics.

-Since the fall of communism has seen the encounter of a Wild West lawlessness with the free market of Adam Smith with bureaucracy of a very non-Weberian type (as if it exists anyway). We saw the rise of Christian democrats (HA!), the shameless revival of the socialists, and the birth of grass-roots neo-fascism mixed with the obscenity of populism.

-Has a large gypsy population. And none of them looks like Brad Pitt. No. They look like Borat's fellow villagers.

-Was the place where my family, while having their morning coffee, watched a man getting shot, across the street from the building they live in. Also, my father was recently given a laptop for repair with a bullet in the monitor. He was ecstatic.

-Has a bacterium named after it.

For the rest, why, check CIA's factbook.

* It's mostly song titles that come to my mind when I think of the blog title. I don't know, cannot think of anything original. But it makes sense in my head...

**Really random. Incomplete. Irrelevant.

† But for Ronald Reagan

You'll stumble in my footsteps

Empathy. I have put empathy to be the only descriptive info in the "about me" section. Empathy being: the ability to walk in someone else's shoes. The other short piece of info accessible to the public (no matter of the public's lack of interest thereof) on this page is about my interests. It states me, followed by some elaboration to strengthen the point.

These are pretty much the issues that have been bothering me lately: the extent to which people are focused on themselves and their courage to venture into others' minds, motivations and feelings. The balance of taking care of your own well-being in the most intuitive way and the apprehension of the fact that your relationships are largely built upon your ability to understand and appreciate others' drives and experiences.

Empathy has been widely appreciated in management; simply put, you cannot manage people successfully without being able to see the world through their (collective) eyes (forget Henry Ford, he managed operations, not people). Empathy is not enough, but it is the foundation of dealing with people.

Empathy has been widely unappreciated in personal life. In personal life, it's about me. A you (he, she, they...) might come across BUT only as it relates to me. The way I see it, empathy in personal life and relationships might blow your mind. It would lead to a conflict of interests, choosing between your natural instinct to take care of yourself and the appreciation of another person's... uhmmm... existence is the word I'm looking for. Existence in your world.

I can go many ways from here, to the parent-child relationship, to friendship, to siblings' relationships, to intimate relationships. To symbiosis. Originally though, I wanted to talk about something much more generic, empathy towards fellow humans. I am not sure if I am not now entering the realm of Utopia; I am pretty sure though that being at least fair and respectful is an option in our attitudes towards other people. I know very well people are cognitive creatures building attitudes based on experiences. But, but, but! You can go two ways. You can either choose the high way of stereotyping (yep, it has been talked about and agreed upon the superiority of the approach), or my way - of at least sometimes trying to be respectful, open-minded, and fair. Just in general, towards people. You know, respectful as opposed to judgmental? Although being judgmental is so much fun, huh?

Once I had a conversation with a man that had spent years in self-torture (not physical, no) after a painful relationship-thingie experience. We were discussing something fairly mundane when he told me: "In most situations it doesn't matter what you do but how you do it. If you do it in a respectful way, even if people do not approve of your actions, you'll be able to keep a healthy relationship." Or make a graceful exit. After that discussion I've been constantly analyzing how my words and attitude might cause harm or pain. Or mild discomfort. In other words, I am trying to look at the results of my actions beyond my own being. I am trying to get this empathy thing going and since we judge about other people through our own reactions, I am trying to be compassionate of others' feelings. Sort of. Maybe. Still learning.

Or, you know what? Maybe I am going the wrong way. Maybe I am just ultra-super-sensitive about every stupid little thing that people say or do. Maybe other people don't care about such things, they don't get hurt by words. Maybe empathy is only a tool and sympathy - a waste of your emotional resources. Maybe apathy, stereotyping, judgmentalism (?????) ARE the way to go.

Unless it's your ass that gets kicked. Hurts.