Compliance training

I want to complain and bitch and vent but there's no one here to listen. Many times have I mused on the barely thought-out decision to leave my country, my family and friends, to come here, more than four years ago. I came without a plan and still seem to stumble through life without a plan. I am so jealous of the people that know where they are going and plan - if for nothing else, at least for the ability to monitor their straying-away's from the plan...

Anyway, recently I realized (only recently! - not the sharpest knife, I am) that I am probably never going back, never reconnecting with the friends I used to have and that makes me very sad. In times of need I realize fully how profound the change in my life is, how much I miss them. I need them to share, I need them for advise, I need them just to be here with me, to listen. Two people that I would give anything to have by my side right now.

I want to complain and bitch and vent but they are not here to listen.